


Cake by the Ocean

by Zygomatique



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Klaus Hargreeves, But not really though, Crossdressing, Dom/sub Undertones, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Public Sex, Sex on the Beach, Sibling Incest, Slut Shaming, Top Diego Hargreeves, Verbal Humiliation, i mean it's klaus, kinkmeme fills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 14:44:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19466170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zygomatique/pseuds/Zygomatique
Summary: It's family beach day, and Klaus won't stop acting like a little tease. Diego turns the tables on him.





	Cake by the Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> Cannot believe I just titled a fic "Cake by the Ocean," but how could I not? Written for the kinkmeme.

The beach day was another one of Allison’s post-apocalyptic family bonding schemes. She and Luther, who was shrink-wrapped in a giant custom wetsuit, had gone straight for the the water. Diego though, despite his breath-holding abilities, was not massively fond of swimming, specifically in the ocean, specifically anywhere near Luther. Instead, he stretched out on a wide, reclining chaise lounge he’d hauled down to the sand himself. Nearby, Five and Vanya were huddled under a large umbrella, reading separate books. No doubt Ben’s ghost was there too, reading over one of their shoulders. He'd have to ask Klaus.

Speaking of Klaus, for reasons unknown—perhaps he'd just woken up on the femme side of the bed that morning—Klaus was wearing a bikini. At least he was wearing a bikini _top_ , which amounted to lime green strings and two pink triangles no bigger than Doritos. A colorful sarong was wrapped around his hips, gapping open at an obscene angle to flash a delicious slice of thigh. If there was a matching bikini bottom underneath, it was hard to tell.

Klaus’ hair was wind-whipped, his eyes shaded behind huge white-rimmed sunglasses with magenta lenses. “Diego darling, would you mind greasing me up?” 

“I don’t have sunscreen,” replied Diego. 

“ _No problema_ ,” Klaus said, "There should be some in my bag.” Instead of locating it himself, he handed Diego the entire bag, an oversized black tote crammed with god knew what. Diego rummaged through it, feeling around for a plastic squeeze bottle.

When he did find one, it definitely wasn’t sunscreen.

“Really?” Diego sighed, looking at Klaus, then again at the lubricant.

“Oh heavens!” Klaus’ hand flew to his mouth. “I must have grabbed the wrong bottle on my way out the door.” He winked behind his hot pink shades. “I’ll go ask Vanya if she has any. Sunblock, that is, of course.” He left Diego holding the lube.

Klaus returned swiftly with Vanya’s sunscreen. “Okay,” he said, passing it Diego and turning around. “Load me up, baby.”

Diego rubbed the lotion over Klaus’ lean, pale back, feeling arousal creep in as his hands passed under the bikini string. Somehow the top made Klaus look even sluttier than he would have without it. Fucking unbelievable. “Ohhhh yes,” Klaus purred, rolling his shoulders and wiggling his hips a little.

“You can do the rest yourself,” Diego said. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Klaus pouted. “Besides, I trust you to be thorough. You know me and my hopeless attention span.” He made puppy eyes behind the pink, then pinched Diego’s waist and stripped off his sarong in a showy flourish. The string bikini bottom he had on underneath could’ve probably fit inside a shot glass. 

Diego sighed. “Hold still,” he told Klaus as he applied sunscreen to the rest of his brother’s body, all of which Klaus could easily have reached himself. 

“Oh, yeah, really slop it on there,” Klaus encouraged as Diego massaged the lotion onto his abs, to the edge of the low-cut bottoms. 

“Is this thing yours or Allison’s?” he asked, snapping the string.

Klaus waggled his eyebrows. “Which would you prefer, brother dear?”

Diego’s dick stirred in his swim trunks as he coated Klaus’ half-bare buttocks and the backs of his thighs. “I’d prefer if you _behave_ yourself in public like a good little bitch. This is a public beach.”

“You’re the one with your hand in my panties.” Klaus wiggled his butt at him.

“There. You're good to go,” Diego said.

"Oh, indeed," Klaus teased, and plopped right down next to Diego on the sunbed. In theory there was room for two, but Klaus hogged far more physical space than someone so skinny had any right to do.

“Klaus. I carried this chair down here. For _me_.”

“Well that wasn’t very thoughtful.”

“You’ve got your towel to lie on.”

“There’s sand on it.”

“Course there’s sand, dumbass, it’s the beach.”

“Yeah...not sure I’m really a beach person.” 

“Me neither. Which is _why_ I came prepared.”

“Oh I came prepared,” Klaus said. Diego ignored him. 

Klaus didn’t move from the chaise, and Diego decided not to press the issue. What his body really needed was a nap in the sun, to make up for the sleep he’d missed overnight on his vigilante rounds. What his body really _wanted_ , though, was Klaus. He tried not to think about it, closing his eyes and settling into to catch some rays and a handful of z’s. But noisy Klaus was rattling about in one of the ice chests, and seconds later something plastic poked Diego in the arm.

It was a popsicle, still in its wrapper, that Klaus had pulled from the cooler. He’d already consumed most of his own—or, hold on, no, he just _had_ to go there and slide the thing halfway down his fucking whore throat. Klaus slid it back out with a loud pop. “You want?” he asked, licking sticky pink lips. 

“You know I don’t eat that crap,” Diego said.

Klaus shrugged. “More crap for me.” Instead of sticking the second popsicle back in the cooler, he opened it and sucked both of them at once. Diego watched as Klaus’ attention flitted back and forth between the two dripping ice pops, deftly licking up trickles of melt that slid down the sunset-colored shafts. A few sugar trails dribbled onto his stomach before he could snake his tongue over to catch them. Diego rolled over and pretended to doze. He did not need to see Klaus practice fellatio on his dessert. At this rate, they’d both wind up arrested for indecent exposure.

Eventually the shameless slurping stopped. Diego began to drift off. “Are you sleeping?” Klaus murmured in Diego’s ear.

“I would be, but there’s this thirsty, curly-headed _ho_ who keeps pestering me.”

“Touché.” Klaus giggled. “Well. Good night Diego. You’re a real party.”

“Wait till I get you home,” Diego said. “I’m warning you, start getting ready now.”

“I’ve been ready,” Klaus snickered. Diego closed his eyes. He was just about to nod off again when he heard Klaus coo, “Ooh la _la_.”

Diego looked up. Klaus was peering over the tops of his shades at three tan, buff men walking past in tiny trunks. “Yes, Daddy. I’ll take one of each, please.” One of the men seemed to notice Klaus back, and Klaus wiggled his painted toes at him. 

“Lotta nerve you’ve got checking those knuckleheads out,” Diego growled.

“Well _someone’s_ gotta show me how to have a good time at the beach,” Klaus replied.

That broke Diego. Swift and soundless, he pounced on Klaus, ripping off his stupid sunglasses and cupping his palm over his beautiful idiot mouth. “You want a _good time_ , Klaus?” he whispered fiercely into his brother’s ear. “Wanna fuck? We can fuck. But you have to be _quiet_.” Diego made sure Klaus felt his erection pressed against his firm bare thigh. “Can you do that?” 

Klaus whimpered and nodded. The front of his bikini bottom bulged conspicuously. Diego cupped Klaus’ crotch, and Klaus let out a small, pleasured squeal. “Shh,” Diego murmured in his ear. “You want all these people to hear your little whore moans? Want everyone to know what a dirty slut you are?” 

Klaus shook his head no, though the glint in his eyes begged to differ. Diego manhandled Klaus onto his side and slid up behind him big-spoon style. Klaus slid one leg up to give Diego better access, and Diego untied the little bow at his brother’s hip that held the flimsy swimsuit in place. “Didn’t think I had the balls to actually go for it, did you?” Diego said, reaching for the lube and squirting it liberally over his fingers. Klaus was about to sound a reply, but Diego once again clamped a hand over his soft mouth. “Ah ah. Quiet.” 

Diego’s slick fingers quickly found their way between Klaus’ cheeks and into his tight, hot ass. He knew just how Klaus liked to be fingered and took special care to steer _just shy_ of that spot that would make him wail. As it was, it was killing him to keep the volume down, whimpering like a puppy as Diego worked him slick and sloppy and open. Lube was getting everywhere, dripping down between their nested bodies. Diego sucked on Klaus’ neck, hard enough to mark him, as he lined up his cock with his hungry little hole. Klaus squeaked a little as Diego entered him, and Diego stuffed his fingers in Klaus’ mouth. “Shut up,” he hissed near Klaus’ ear as he started to move inside him.

Klaus whimpered weakly, equal parts frustration and delight. Normally he’d be begging Diego to pound the living daylights out of him, but this was a new game, the exposure adding a strange thrill. They at least wanted the illusion of stealth. Diego scooped Klaus’ sarong up from the sand and draped it loosely over their gyrating pelvises. He fucked Klaus slower and gentler than usual, savoring every square inch of his brother’s lithe body as it responded to his thrusts. Klaus was desperately angling for deeper fucks, just yearning to cry out around Diego’s fingers. Diego found good leverage and a steady rhythm, one hand on Klaus’ leaking cock and the other muffling his mouth. 

But even if Klaus could be kept totally silent—impossible, Diego realized—it wouldn’t mute the dull creak of the sunbed and the _thck-thck-thck_ of Diego plowing into him. Number Five had apparently caught on, because he got up from where he’d been sitting and adjusted his umbrella to better shield Vanya from the action. Then Five wandered over towards them with his hands in his pockets, literally looking down at Klaus’ flushed face as Diego had his way with him.

“You’re incorrigible, Klaus,” Five said. “Right here in the open? There could be kids around.” The sound Klaus made in protest was quickly smothered. Five shook his head. “Shameful. You really should keep that slut of yours on a leash, Diego.”

“I’m considering it,” Diego grunted cheerfully, without missing a beat. “Now fuck off.” More amused than anything else, Five went back to the shelter of his beach umbrella to read. 

Emboldened by Five, Diego picked up his pace a bit. The frame of the chaise rocked a little under the jolting force of his thrusts. Overhead, the sun glowed hot, and beads of sweat gathered at his brow. Klaus was so slick and tight, so hot and deep, the sweet meat of his ass jiggling with every fuck, his long spine curving like a bow. Klaus whined, as Diego stroked his sticky little cock.

“Like that, baby doll?” He murmured in Klaus’ ear. “Don’t forget who owns you, slut.” Klaus eased down onto his wet cock, biting back a moan. He was so hot, so gorgeous and needy underneath him, bikini top askew. By now it would’ve been hard for passersby to miss the creaking and the knocking and the bitten-back moans, but Diego was past caring. He was going to come, and he wanted Klaus to come first. He needed the victory, needed to watch naughty little Klaus fall apart in front of the whole damn beach.

“This is just your warmup,” Diego said softly, jacking him off as he fucked him under the draped sarong. Nipping at his brother’s neck, he said, “You’ve been _bad_ today, Klaus. I’m gonna punish you good and hard when we get home.”

That did it. Klaus stifled a moan, biting down on Diego’s knuckles as he came, soaking Diego’s other hand. Diego’s hands switched places, and he fed Klaus’ white hot load right back to him, watching him lap it up as he neared his own home stretch. “I’m gonna fill you up so good, baby,” Diego growled as Klaus licked his filthy fingers pitifully. “Fill you up so full you’ll be leaking all the way home.” The thought of that, the idea of his seed seeping out of Klaus’ whorehole and down those milky thighs, was just too much for Diego. He came hard inside Klaus, shuddering against his pale frame.

The next minute was a rare moment of silence from Klaus, his blissful face all flushed and slack and cum-smeared. They spooned a little longer as their throbbing heat receded and their breathing slowed.

“You’d better rinse off,” Diego said, fumbling to get Klaus’ bikini bottoms back where they belonged.

Klaus stuck out his tongue and plucked his shades from the sand. “The ocean’s filthy,” he said.

“And you’re not?” Diego scoffed.

“I’m _saying_ I’d only contribute to the pollution.”

Diego laughed and kissed a bit of visible spunk from the corner of his smile. “Come on, Klaus. I’ll go with you. Wouldn’t want some creepy douchebag picking up your slut ass.”

“Which is still very much _occupado_ with—”

“—that’s right. And don’t forget it.”

They wandered on down toward the water holding hands. There was Allison, shining in the sun, shaking out her wet curls. “Hey, its the emo kids!” She smiled. “Nice of you to finally join us.” Then she squinted and took a second look at Klaus. “Is that my bikini?” 

“I couldn’t resist,” Klaus beamed. 

“It actually sort of fits you. But your ties are all uneven. Here, let me help—”

“D-don’t—” Diego cut in. Allison gave him a perplexed look. “Don’t bother," he finished. "I got it. I’ll straighten him out in a minute.”

“Unlikely,” Klaus muttered, with a shit eating grin.

Allison blinked. “Did…did you two just…”

“In public?” Diego huffed. “What, you think I’m some kind of pervert?”

“Well, you _are_ hooking up with _Klaus_ ,” Allison said. 

“And you’re one to judge.”

“No judgement,” Allison said. “Just…you know. No need to return that swimsuit, either.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Klaus smiled sweetly. “Too many memories.”

Then a sneaky wave knocked Klaus right off his feet and sucked him backwards under the tide. As Diego dove in after him, he heard Allison laugh, the most honest sounding joy he’d heard out of her in years. Maybe, just maybe, he thought as he pulled a giggling Klaus up to the surface, there was something to this family bonding shit after all. 


End file.
